Anger and Grief during Divorce
Divorce is a kind of death. It marks the end of a relationship that the two parties entered into hopefully thinking it would be life-long. It should not be surprising, therefore, that the divorce process can be emotionally charged, and the most common of these emotions are anger and grief. An experienced divorce attorney in College Station can attest that this can be an extremely difficult time, but you can get through it.
Why People Grieve in a Divorce
Grief is natural to any kind of significant loss. Elisabeth Kubler Ross first recognized the five stages people tend to go through when grieving, and while her model referred to loss through death, it has been applied to divorce, serious illness, and even loss of a job. These stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, must be passed through in order for a person to come to terms with loss.
All this is to say that if you feel depressed and sad, this is natural. Children often bear the brunt of a divorce, but the spouses almost always feel some grief. The only real cure for grief and loss is time, but you should keep in mind during the rough periods that things will get better.
Grief can have some interesting effects on divorcing spouses as well. One party that is grieving may not feel able to carry on with divorce proceedings without knowing that the other is similarly suffering.
Why Anger So Often Develops
Your divorce attorney in College Station can tell you that anger can be a real barrier to moving on with a divorce. Anger sometimes derives from depression, but in other cases it can result from a feeling of betrayal. Anger is, indeed, the most common emotion divorcing spouses feel. One might say that people default to this emotion and can feel attacked. Divorce can, after all, be an affront to one's self-esteem.
Unfortunately, anger often begets anger. When one party reacts in anger, then, the other may well feel anger well up inside of them, too. Keep in mind that anger often emanates out of a feeling of fear and frustration. If the other spouse lashes out verbally at you, an effective way of handling the situation is simply not to offer any response at all. The other's anger has a chance to subside in this way, rather than escalate. It is also useful at times to work with a family counselor, especially if children are involved in the divorce.
If You Are Divorcing
If you are filing for divorce, it is important to work with an experienced and strong divorce attorney in College Station. Call Peterson Law Group today to arrange an initial consultation: 979-703-7014.